this is too real


this is too real

(Source: theonion, via uenoeki54)

"You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics."

Unknown English Teacher (via memewhore)

How can we start a retirement plan

(via lacostume)

(Source: swarthyvillain, via notalickofsense)

"I ruin everything. I think that a bullet must have passed through my heart when I was very young, causing me to bleed out slowly, over things and people and every white surface that I’d ever come across."

— Jennifer Elisabeth, Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl (via quotes-shape-us)


“I crave you in the most innocent form.
I crave to say goodnight and give you forehead kisses and to say that I adore you when you feel at your worst.
I crave you in ways where I just want to be next to you,
and nothing less or more.”

(via things-inbetween)


Young Avenger #05

(via liesmiths)

Anonymous said: do we know why thor is unworthy?


nick fury whispered one word into thor’s ear and mjolnir fell from thor’s grasp. presumably he said something that thor either forgot about or nobody was supposed to know i realllllly have no idea lmao my bet is that fury whispered “incest” and thor was like oh shit and got sweaty hands and then mjolnir was like Tha fuck no one was supposed to know ‘bout you and loki


"When you separate an entwined particle and you move both parts away from the other, even at opposite ends of the universe, if you alter or affect one, the other will be identically altered or affected." - Only Lovers Left Alive

(via black-nata)

(Source: weheartit.com, via xmapleteax)



Tumblr, may I offer you a pug in this trying time?

oh my g od

(via lucleon)


when you about to fall asleep and remember you had homework


(via spywoof)